I know love was my first lesson. It's probably going to be my second, third and fourth lesson too! There is nothing better than love. Life would not be worth living, if it weren't for love.
On the notion that this post is being written out of love, please open your mind to what I am saying.
People often say that you cannot love someone else until you truly love yourself. I am not sure if this is true or not. I love my kids unconditionally. I do not believe that I need to love myself in order to unconditionally love my children. Wholeheartedly, I know that I am a better mother when I am loving myself and treating myself well (sleeping and eating right).
Lesson #2 is about loving yourself.
Take the time to get to know yourself. You are complex. You have genetic code in you that goes back to first humans on the planet. You are not just 1/2 me and 1/2 you dad. You are 1/4 PopPop, 1/4 Nana, 1/4 GG and 1/4 Granpa, but wait...PopPop is 1/4 his grandparents and Nana is 1/4 her grandparents, etc....I could go all the way back to when humans first walked this earth.
Figure out what truly makes you happy. It took me a long time to figure out what really makes me happy and that is loving you. In my 20s, I thought I needed to makes lots of money on Wall Street. When I first gave birth to Gavin, I realized that I didn't need much at all. I was happy buying clothes at Target instead of the Saks Fifth Avenue in Manhattan. I might have chosen a different career path, if I had really known what I wanted in life.
You might read this and think it sounds silly or even simply that I am asking you to get to know yourself, but a lot of people go through life and never know the simplest things about themselves. It will make your career so much more worthwhile, if you do what you love and love what you do. Please do not chase money. Money will come if you love what you do.
Your father and I both dated a few other people before we met each other. I cannot speak for him. For me, I feel as though I was lost before I met your father. I was trying to make other men into the mold of what I wanted. Those relationships never worked out. When your father and I met. I thought he was scary. Scary, because I didn't need to make him into anything. He was what I wanted. A man who wanted to get married and wanted children. Your father loved the idea of being a father. He reminded me of my dad, PoPop.
In my 20s, I was trying to build my career and went to business school. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. I wasn't aways happy and was often stressed out. It was not a good time to fall in-love, because I wasn't really in-love with where I was in life. It was a great time to meet someone who was happy and wanted a family too. When I met your father, I was on the path to figuring out what I really wanted in life, children. I was doing well in my career and I was overall happy.
All four of you are great people. You are still very young, so it's hard to say what you want to do in life or what makes you really happy. You still have a lot to experience and see. I hope you will keep your mind open to different experiences and people.
Love always and forever,