There I said it!
No, I don't have a disease or something tragic going on...It's just that I am passed the birth and growth stages and am now in the decaying to death stage. You might guess that I am "old" or maybe you think I'm "young." Both are relative terms, so it depends on where you are in life... I am 46 years old; probably passed my half-way point.
I don't think of myself as morbid or depressed. I rather believe that I am logical yet also emotional. My grandparents never made it to 50 years old. Growing up, I had two very good friends' mothers and neighbors die at 42 years old (one of cancer and the other from a car accident). Whose to say I'm better than my grandparents. Fifty percent of who I am came from them.
However, as I had 5 Strands of Hope when I was pregnant with my triplets. I have hope now, but I am going to prepare, just in case I don't live long enough to see my daughter get her period, first boyfriend, go to college, med school, get married and have her own kids....or other firsts for my boys.
I know my husband, mother and sister would think I'm crazy for doing this and maybe I am. Though I've always like the saying, "Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best!" This blog just might be something my daughter and I laugh about when she is older. But for now, I'am going to prepare for the worst.