Friday, July 6, 2012

90% Divorce Rate for Triplet Parents

Happy Friday!
The triplets had their 3 year well-visit on Tuesday.  I'm happy to report that Anna, Liam and Owen are all doing well.  Funny, though, Anna and Liam are the same height and same weight.  Owen is my big guy, although only an inch taller and a pound heavier.

I really like my children's doctor and often ask him about his children.  One of his sons trades derivatives and another is a reproductive endocrinologist.  Having traded derivates and gone to a reproductive endocrinologist, I am very familiar with both of these areas and enjoy hearing about my doctor's sons.

This visit, however, my doctor surprised me when he told me that his son read a recent study that the divorce rate for parents of triplets and other higher-level multiples is 90%.  I had heard the divorce rate was a mere 80%, but 90%!

How Can These Innocents Lead to a Higher Divorce Rate?
I don't usually admit to being really stressed - definitely not when I'm in the moment.  However, I have a few times since having the triplets.  It felt like my heart was beating so fast that it would just conk out like a rusty old car.  Those moments weren't caused the kids bad behavior, but just a feeling of being totally overwhelmed.  It usually happened at the end of the week or when holidays were approaching and additional responsibilities were thrown at me (sometimes by myself or by hosting family and holidays).

During my times of feeling completely overwhelmed, Brian and I had more than our usual share of arguments.  The arguments took on a nastier tone than necessary.  However, I can tell you now that we were both trying to expel the stress and we didn't realize that was what we were doing.  In hindsight, I believe, that it was possible for one or more of those fights to get completely out of hand and cause permanent damage to our marriage.  Thankfully, none of the arguments did.

Though we never talked (or screamed) about divorce.  I don't want to say that it's not an option, because Jennifer Masche did and well, she divorced her children's father.  There are definitely circumstances were I would leave a marriage and I'm sure Brian feels the same way.  However, we are committed to making our marriage work for our children and because we truly love each other.

I don't want to be egotistical and whole-heartedly believe that Brian and I are among the 10% that don't get divorced.  However, knowing the statistic, I will make sure that we keep communication open and continue to find more productive ways to expel the stress that builds up.

Then again, we are lucky with statistics.  We were told we had a 2% chance of getting pregnant with triplets.  Then we were told we had almost no chance of having healthy ones.
Owen Casey

Liam Casey

Anna Casey

Gavin Casey





3 comments:

  1. Check this out:
    http://www.mostonline.org/facts_divorcesurvey.htm

    I'm a mommy-to-be of triplets...I just found out I was pregnant with triplets on Thursday. My husband and I had unexplained infertility and did injectibles. We were given a less than one percent chance of having triplets. I'm starting to not believe in numbers! Best wishes to you and your family.

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations! You must still be coming to terms with the shock! I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy and am happy to help in anyway I can. Feel free to email me whenever you have a question or concern.

      Laura

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