5 Strands of Hope: I'll Have Another

Monday, June 11, 2012

I'll Have Another

It get really bummed out and sometimes even pissed off when someone at Target or the mall sees me with my four, young kids and she (it usually is a woman) says, "God Bless You," in such a way that I know not to take it as a compliment. I try to respond by saying, "Yes, God has blessed me," because, well I do feel blessed and lucky. Or there's the woman who says, "You're arms are full," and I ALWAYS respond back, "Full of Love."

I love my kids. I love being a mother. It's not always easy. I definitely have my moments (like last night when I was so distracted by my over-tired, fighting kids that I singed my hair in the oven). However, I'd have another and another and another. If...it was actually possible. I have suffered two miscarriages since the triplets were born and they devastated me. I still fantasize about the possibility that I'll have another, but know that it's probably impossible.

While I dream about another baby, my days are filled with fun that four little kids brings. Sometimes the "fun" might involve watching a boy go potty while he's sitting on the toilet and it shoots across the bathroom. Other times, like yesterday, it involves going on a family bike ride to the beach, chasing waves and when the courage spikes, going into the ocean.

So, if you are ever curious, God did Bless me and my husband. Our lives are full of love and I dream of having another.