Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Strongest Women Around

One of the reactions I've gotten from the story of my triplet pregnancy is how strong I must be.  However, I know and unfortunately a lot of other women know that I am not that strong.  There are women who are far stronger than me.  I've met these women.  They are friends and neighbors, cyber friends, message board acquaintances and women whose stories I've heard, but have never met.  Women who suffered stillbirths or the deaths of their newborns.  These women are strong, stronger than I could ever imagine being.  Stronger than I ever want to have to be.

Shortly after I went "live" with my blog, I got an email from a women who just lost her triplets at 22 or 23 weeks.  She thanked me for starting my blog, for sharing my story.  I cried.  I tried to read her email to my husband, but I lost my voice.  Why did she lose her babies and I didn't?  Why did mine just turn three and her never got to breathe?  Am I lucky and she unlucky?  Lord knows that I didn't deserve my babies anymore than she did.  Sometimes I think it is because of a darn butterfly that flapped it wings in China that created these events.  However, most the time, I think it's because life just sucks sometimes.  Everyone has had those moments or events when you think "life sucks," but a stillbirth or infant death is a whole different universe of "life sucks."

Some of the women that had stillbirths have children that go to the same preschool as mine.  I seem them smiling and being wonderful mothers.  You are so strong, I think.  I admire you.  I feel for you and whether you know it or not, I am always wishing you and your family happiness.

Miss. Universe of the body-building world might have the biggest muscles, but women who has suffered infant losses have the strongest hearts.

Here are links to chapter one of my book:

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