Showing posts with label quadruplets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quadruplets. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

So Now I'm Annoyed...Divorce Rate is Only 5%

My kids are playing nicely (for the most part) and I was thinking about the high divorce rate among high-level multiples.  Remember my pediatrician told me that his son said the divorce rate for parents of triplets was 90%.  Well, I decided to actually use my research skills and find the study. 


The Best Side of Triplets




IT'S NOT TRUE 


MOST (Mothers of Supertwins) conducted a survey of parents with multiples (twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc.) from June 25, 2009 to July 27, 2009. The survey was designed to develop baseline statistics about the prevalence of divorce among multiple birth parents and contained 10 multi-part questions on family background, socioeconomic status, parent and children's age, as well as questions about marital status and divorce.

The survey found:
  • That 4.3% of respondents divorced during the pregnancy or following the birth of multiples (indicating that the divorce rate among this group may not be as high as many have speculated.)
  • Over 95% of the marriages were intact.
  • About 82% of the respondents reported an overall positive level of marital satisfaction.
According to MOST researcher, Dr. Laurie LaMonde, a clinical psychologist and mother of triplets, “Identifying a more accurate divorce rate is important to ease the concerns of multiple birth families as well as to determine if additional services may be beneficial for families that may be at greater risk of marital discord.” 
Specifically, the divorce rate was:
  • 3.6% for parents with twins
  • 5% for parents with triplets
  • 9.2% for parents with quadruplets
  • 4.2% for parents with quintuplets/sextuplets or multiple sets of multiples
Managing the Path with Triplets + One
I think this is most interesting (2 more years to go!) For those who got divorced, the majority of their multiples were between the ages of 1 and 5 at the time.

Here is the link to the article.





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Monday, June 25, 2012

Ignorance is Not Always Bliss

But it worked out all right in the end.

When I found out that I was pregnant with quadruplets, I was ecstatic.  I wanted a big family and with my age and our fertility issues, the only way to do this would be to have multiple children at once.  My reproductive endocrinologist warned me that the pregnancy would be difficult and, as I said before, he suggested that I reduce the pregnancy down to one or two babies.

I went home and looked up characteristics of successful quadruplet pregnancies.  Two things I remember was that the mother needs to be tall (I'm just shy of 5-9) and have had a previous full-term pregnancy (I had Gavin the day before his due date).  Oh, and my friend, Katie, got me in touch with her friend, Julie, (through Facebook) who had triplets at 35 weeks.   I thought that I'd be find.

(Anyone old enough to remember the TV show My Three Sons)

As you all know by know, I wasn't fine.  The pregnancy was the scariest roller-coaster rides I've ever been on, which isn't saying a lot, because I won't go on roller coasters...I HATE them.  However, I am writing this as my triplets and Gavin are playing house/barn (Owen insists on being a tiger) in the living room, I'd replay that horrific pregnancy over and over again, because of us, everything turned out wonderful.

Since starting this blog, I've met lots of women whose pregnancies didn't turn well.  I didn't know anyone prior to my pregnancy who didn't have great pregnancies.  Before the statistics were just numbers - not realities.  I'm a "math" person.  I took PhD statistics courses while I was at the University of Chicago.  The numbers should have represented real possibilities to me, if anyone.  But I was looking at them as a mother, a pregnant mother fiercely protective of her babies.



Sometimes, I wonder if I would have made different decisions at the beginning of my IVF cycle, knowing what I know now.  The truth of the matter is that I'll never know.  My heart is bigger, stronger now and I love being a mother.  I don't think I could just throw two embryos away, which was the choice presented to us.  However, maybe my journey and those of other women will help you make the insanely hard decisions that surround infertility and high level multiple pregnancies.

All the best,
Laura




Here are links to chapter one of my book:

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Monday, June 11, 2012

I'll Have Another

It get really bummed out and sometimes even pissed off when someone at Target or the mall sees me with my four, young kids and she (it usually is a woman) says, "God Bless You," in such a way that I know not to take it as a compliment.  I try to respond by saying, "Yes, God has blessed me," because, well I do feel blessed and lucky.  Or there's the woman who says, "You're arms are full," and I ALWAYS respond back, "Full of Love."

I love my kids.  I love being a mother.  It's not always easy.  I definitely have my moments (like last night when I was so distracted by my over-tired, fighting kids that I singed my hair in the oven).  However, I'd have another and another and another.  If...it was actually possible.  I have suffered two miscarriages since the triplets were born and they devastated me.  I still fantasize about the possibility that I'll have another, but know that it's probably impossible.

While I dream about another baby, my days are filled with fun that four little kids brings.  Sometimes the "fun" might involve watching a boy go potty while he's sitting on the toilet and it shoots across the bathroom.  Other times, like yesterday, it involves going on a family bike ride to the beach, chasing waves and when the courage spikes, going into the ocean.

So, if you are ever curious,  God did Bless me and my husband.  Our lives are full of love and I dream of having another.

(Owen, Gavin, Anna, Liam on Gavin's graduation from preschool)



Here are links to chapter one of my book:

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