So Now I'm Annoyed...Divorce Rate is Only 5%

My kids are playing nicely (for the most part) and I was thinking about the high divorce rate among high-level multiples.  Remember my pediatrician told me that his son said the divorce rate for parents of triplets was 90%.  Well, I decided to actually use my research skills and find the study. 

The Best Side of Triplets

IT'S NOT TRUE 

MOST (Mothers of Supertwins) conducted a survey of parents with multiples (twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc.) from June 25, 2009 to July 27, 2009. The survey was designed to develop baseline statistics about the prevalence of divorce among multiple birth parents and contained 10 multi-part questions on family background, socioeconomic status, parent and children's age, as well as questions about marital status and divorce.

The survey found:

• That 4.3% of respondents divorced during the pregnancy or following the birth of multiples (indicating that the divorce rate among this group may not be as high as many have speculated.)
• Over 95% of the marriages were intact.
• About 82% of the respondents reported an overall positive level of marital satisfaction.

According to MOST researcher, Dr. Laurie LaMonde, a clinical psychologist and mother of triplets, “Identifying a more accurate divorce rate is important to ease the concerns of multiple birth families as well as to determine if additional services may be beneficial for families that may be at greater risk of marital discord.” 

Specifically, the divorce rate was:

• 3.6% for parents with twins
• 5% for parents with triplets
• 9.2% for parents with quadruplets
• 4.2% for parents with quintuplets/sextuplets or multiple sets of multiples

Managing the Path with Triplets + One

I think this is most interesting (2 more years to go!) For those who got divorced, the majority of their multiples were between the ages of 1 and 5 at the time.

Here is the link to the article.

My Book at Amazon: Five Strands of Hope ($0.99)

Here are links to previous blog posts: 

My Beach Days Have Changed Forever

90% Divorce Rate for Parents of Triplets

I'll Have Another

A Mother's Fears

The Strongest Women

The Loneliness of Having Triplets

Natural Remedy for PCOS

Infertility and Alcoholism

Acupuncture Improves Your Chances

Stress Kills Your Chances

It's Not Your Lifestyle: Male Infertility

Grasping at Straws: Laptops Damage Sperm

Fresh vs Frozen Embryo Transfer

Premature Babies Twice as Likely to Suffer Mental Disorders

Does IVF Increased Your Breast Cancer Risk?

IVF: Higher Risk of Complications; So what?

I read this study from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologist in the UK about higher complications with IVF babies.  It sucks.  Seriously, it's not like women are choosing to use IVF over the normal way to procreate.  It's not a chose; it's one of the last options.  And now… women are told of the higher risk.  What are women suppose to do with this information?  Would it have changed my mind?

No, I would NOT have changed my mind.  We tried to procreate the normal way.  We knew we had fertility issues.  We tried artificial insemination…three times.  If we wanted a sibling for Gavin, we were going to have to do IVF.  This study was not going to effect my decision making.  Would it have changed your decision to do IVF?  I'd love to know.

Here is a link to the full article.

Here are links to previous blog posts: 

A Mother's Fears

The Strongest Women

The Loneliness of Having Triplets

What is the "Right" Number of Children to Have?

Fresh vs Frozen Embryo Transfer

No More Octomoms

Premature Babies Twice as Likely to Suffer Mental Disorders

Are You Having Twins?

Does IVF Increased Your Breast Cancer Risk?

Time to See a Fertility Specialist

Here are links to chapter one of my book:

Chapter 1 (part 1)

Chapter 1 (part 2)

No More OctoMoms?

No more octomoms?  It sounds good.  It sounds easy, but is it?  Octomom is a specific case of a doctor transferring way too many embryos.  But what about the triplets, quadruplets and such that are a result of ovary stimulation, i.e. clomid?  I don't think there is any easy answer for these multiples.  


Thankfully, new advances in IVF technology are reducing the risk of multiple births and health defects to hopeful families.  IVF success rates used to be based on a numbers game where chances of pregnancy increased with each embryo implanted.  This is definitely what I believed.  However, now doctors claim that they can identify the healthiest embryo using genetic testing.  Then the fertilized egg stays in the lab for five to eight days until it reaches the blastocyst stage, which increases its chances of survival.  With a greater probability of achieving pregnancy, more woman are choosing to transfer just one embryo.

I'd like to note, though, that my husband and I were going to do PGD, genetic testing on our embryos.  However, out of seventeen eggs that were retrieved from my ovaries, only four fertilized.  The doctor said the risk of PGD destroying our embryos was too great, because two were great and two were duds.  The same doctor also told us that we only had a 2% chance of having triplets, if we put all four embryos back.  If we only put two back, as originally planned, then the other two embryos would be thrown away.  They were unworthy of freezing.


We thought we were making a sound decision and with three year old triplets playing as I type, we did make the right decision.  However, I believe, that IVF is as much an art as a science, but hopefully with new procedures the scales are tipping farther on the science side.

Here is the full article.

Here are links to previous blog posts: 

A Mother's Fears

The Strongest Women

The Loneliness of Having Triplets

Premature Babies Twice as Likely to Suffer Mental Disorders

Are You Having Twins?

Does IVF Increased Your Breast Cancer Risk?

Time to See a Fertility Specialist

What is the "Right" Number of Children to Have?

Here are links to chapter one of my book:

Chapter 1 (part 1)

Chapter 1 (part 2)

Doctor Told Me Four Times to Abort One of My Triplets

I wrote the following essay for Life News.

Here's the link.

(Anna, Liam, Owen & Gavin in NC)

I hope everyone is having a nice day!
Laura

The Strongest Women Around

One of the reactions I've gotten from the story of my triplet pregnancy is how strong I must be.  However, I know and unfortunately a lot of other women know that I am not that strong.  There are women who are far stronger than me.  I've met these women.  They are friends and neighbors, cyber friends, message board acquaintances and women whose stories I've heard, but have never met.  Women who suffered stillbirths or the deaths of their newborns.  These women are strong, stronger than I could ever imagine being.  Stronger than I ever want to have to be.

Shortly after I went "live" with my blog, I got an email from a women who just lost her triplets at 22 or 23 weeks.  She thanked me for starting my blog, for sharing my story.  I cried.  I tried to read her email to my husband, but I lost my voice.  Why did she lose her babies and I didn't?  Why did mine just turn three and her never got to breathe?  Am I lucky and she unlucky?  Lord knows that I didn't deserve my babies anymore than she did.  Sometimes I think it is because of a darn butterfly that flapped it wings in China that created these events.  However, most the time, I think it's because life just sucks sometimes.  Everyone has had those moments or events when you think "life sucks," but a stillbirth or infant death is a whole different universe of "life sucks."

Some of the women that had stillbirths have children that go to the same preschool as mine.  I seem them smiling and being wonderful mothers.  You are so strong, I think.  I admire you.  I feel for you and whether you know it or not, I am always wishing you and your family happiness.

Miss. Universe of the body-building world might have the biggest muscles, but women who has suffered infant losses have the strongest hearts.

Here are links to previous blog posts: 

The Loneliness of Having Triplets

A Mother's Fears

Are You Having Twins?

Does IVF Increased Your Breast Cancer Risk?

Time to See a Fertility Specialist

Increased Pregnancy Rates with New IVF Procedure

What is the "Right" Number of Children to Have?

Here are links to chapter one of my book:

Chapter 1 (part 1)

Chapter 1 (part 2)

What are Your Chances of Having Twins Through IVF?

I saw this press release on the study Researchers Predict IVF Patients' Chance of Having Twins and I thought OMG we would have loved to know what our chances were of having twins.  Then, of course, I thought, no way in h*ll.  We have healthy triplet three year olds and if we were told we have a 90% of greater chance of having twins, I'm not sure what we would have done and that scares me.  Which amazing and lovable child would we not have in our lives right now?

Trying to go back in time and think about what you would have done with information you have now is futile.  However, it is nice to know that couples who want to determine their chance of having twins can.  Hopefully, parents and doctors will use this information in the best possible way.

Here are links to previous blog posts: 

The Loneliness of Having Triplets

The Joys of Having Triplets

Time to See a Fertility Specialist

A Mother's Fears

What is the "Right" Number of Children to Have?

Here are links to chapter one of my book:

Chapter 1 (part 1)

Chapter 1 (part 2)

Increased Pregnancy Rates with New IVF Procedure

A study was released out of the UK today that showed promising results for increasing the probability of pregnancy with IVF.  Currently, after eggs are retrieved from a woman, they need to go through different procedures before they are return, fertilized, to the woman.  The new system, allows for multiple procedure to take place in a single sealed unit that regulates temperature and the quality of air around the embryos.

8 cell embryo

Here is the Press Release.

Here are links to previous blog posts: 

The Loneliness of Having Triplets

The Joys of Having Triplets

Time to See a Fertility Specialist
A Mother's Fears
What is the "Right" Number of Children to Have?

Here are links to chapter one of my book:

Chapter 1 (part 1)

Chapter 1 (part 2)